i was thinking about marriage and after everything i went through as a kid i probably shouldnt even believe in marriage...and about how with my commitment issues i shouldnt even begin asking people to consider marrying me! but im crazy about it. im crazy about love and relationships and all the silly everythings about it all.
i was thinking about a conversation with julia about how as humans we just "love" to go through the pains of "love". why are we able to do these things to ourselves? i dont know i dont know but i was in the mood for "annie hall" tonight which has always been a favorite and woody has a great quote at the end which i have stolen from sparknotes.com to get it exact:

“I thought of that old joke. This guy goes to a psychiatrist and says, ‘Doc, my brother’s crazy. He thinks he’s a chicken.’ And the doctor says, ‘Well, why don’t you turn him in?’ And the guy says, ‘I would, but I need the eggs.’ Well, I guess that’s pretty much now how I feel about relationships. They’re totally irrational and crazy and absurd and . . . but I guess we keep going through it because most of us need the eggs.”

and thaaaat is that!!

last night my mom was freaking out about her hair and demanding me to call ryan and tell him how she needed her hair styled. she went as far as saying that she was so over her hair that she was getting "the hilary". ohhh jeez. i love on some hilary but no no no. no good.

next year in jerusalem.

it's passover time so last night i had dinner with jacob and his family.
my stomach is still stuffed with unleavened foods and bitter herbs!
i got to read the four questions.
jacob and i left the door open for elijah all night waiting for him to come and drink his glass of wine. he never came...elijah is pretty much the jews santa claus but i like the idea of elijah a lot more.
a traditional seder dinner looks like this:


thanks to the wedding jake and i are preparing to play music for i cannot for the life of me remove "maybe im amazed" from my brain and the killer lead jake has been playing on it. damn you paullllllllly.
it is raining a lot.
id like to start helping creatures more.
oh,and yesterday kirk made me a caramel apple spice. it was the best drink of my life. next to nan's homemade gimlets.
yep.

i had terrible dreams last night. terrible.
i did get to meet david beckham and the la galaxy was actually better than the italian soccer team. not that i really know much about any of that..but i got an idea. david was nice.
after waking from such a terrible dream i watched this and it warmed my heart:

change is hard.

i'd rather hear silence than the bells of new love.